Hi friends!
Remember me? Remember this lil ole newsletter?
It’s been a hot minute since I’ve been in your inbox, and for that, I’m truly sorry. If I’m allowed to be honest with you guys, the last month was pretty darn awful. As bad as it gets. So horrible actually that I had several moments where I questioned if this was real life, or if I was in some sick nightmare.
My month started by getting COVID, ironically exactly a year after my father passed away. That felt really freaking cruel. I had planned a big trip home, so that I could spend that anniversary with my family — but unfortunately, had to cancel. Physically, I felt awful. Emotionally, jeez, I was a mess.
Then, this earth lost a beautiful, wonderful person— Jimmy Killeen— way too early. Jimmy is my best friend Caroline’s older brother, and he experienced an unexplainable traumatic brain injury. I have tears in my eyes thinking about the pain that my best friend is experiencing. Not only today, but the long road ahead. Words can’t describe the heartache that Jimmy’s family, friends and wife Sally is facing right now. They need all your prayers as they navigate this new chapter of life, and as they welcome Jimmy’s daughter, Penelope, into the world early next year. If you’d like to provide support to Sally and the Killeens, please do so at Jimmy’s gofundme page.
Amongst all the grief, we also had to say goodbye to my family dog, Coco. Deal with unexpected diagnoses. Heartbreak. And plenty more that I’m just not quite ready to talk about.
All of this to say, what my family, friends and I have needed more than anything this past month is comfort. Comfort through kind messages. Long walks around our neighborhood. Listening to our favorite songs. Cards in the mail. Reliving memories. Unexpected belly laughs. And of course, comfort from our favorite foods.
This week, I’m sharing one of our biggest comfort foods (and what’s pretty much sustained me for the last 30 days) — Brothy Beans.
I love making a big pot of brothy beans for many reasons — the way it makes our house smell, the fact that it only costs a few bucks, the way it uses all the scraps in your fridge and how little attention you have to pay it — but what I love most is the comfort it brings those who eat it.
There’s just something about a big bowl of brothy beans, especially at this time of year, that warms the soul. It makes you feel like you’re wrapped in a huge quilt, snuggled around a fire, watching your favorite movie. This is actually how I prefer to eat these beans.
Every chef, food writer and home cook has their own way of making brothy beans — all of which are incredibly delicious. Here are some of my favorites that have informed my own recipe—
Alison Roman’s brothy beans from a newsletter
Carla Lalli Music’s beans with magic green sauce from Where Cooking Begins
Melissa Clark’s big pot of beans from NYT Cooking
Jeremy Fox’s brothy beans from Bon Appetit
Molly Baz’s master beans from Cook This Book
Amiel Stanek’s white bean and spring vegetable stew from Bon Appetit
What I’ve learned after making countless pots of beans is that using dry beans instead of canned will take substantially longer, but inevitably will be much more delicious.
Remembering to soak your beans overnight feels like a huge accomplishment.
A super flavorful pot of beans starts with a lot of olive oil. I mean, A LOT.
I guess eating brothy beans over toast is a thing? See here, here and here for proof. But there’s something about soggy bread that’s just not for me.
And lastly, there’s so many beans to choose from, but my favorites are always cannellini, great northern and baby lima beans.
So let’s get into it. Here’s my recipe for Brothy Beans.
You’ll need —
½ cup plus more olive oil
1 pound dried beans, soaked overnight — again, I prefer cannellini, great northern and baby lima
2 lemons, halved, seeds removed
1 yellow onion, quartered with roots intact and skins on— keeping the onion attached at the root will make it easier to fish out later and the skins add a golden hue to the broth
1 head of garlic, cut in half with skins on
2 whole dried chilis or a pinch of red pepper flakes
A handful of woody herbs like rosemary, thyme or bay leaves
6-8 cups of water
Salt and pepper
The above list is what I will always add to my pot of beans, but if I have veggies that are on their last leg, I’ll add them too. I’ve used carrots, celery and leeks — all of which were kick ass editions, but don’t feel like they’re required.
Let’s start by soaking your beans. In a large bowl, add your beans and cover with water. Let sit overnight. Drain before cooking. Some people like to use the soaking liquid, but I prefer fresh water.
In a large dutch oven, add a healthy amount of olive oil (around ½ cup) and heat over medium. Add halved lemons, onions and garlic to the pot, cut-side down. You’re looking for these to char a bit, so cook for about 5 minutes, or edges are beginning to burn.
Add whole chilis or chili flakes to the oil, to toast. Cook for another minute.
Add the beans to the pot with 6-8 cups of water and your handful of herbs. Stir so everything is combined. Generously season with salt and pepper.
There should be a good amount of olive oil on the top, but just for good measure, I tend to add a few more tablespoons. Fat is flavor!
Increase the heat to high and bring to a boil. Once boiling, reduce to a gentle simmer and cover with a lid. Cook for 1 ½ - 2 hours, stirring occasionally, and adding more water as needed. You want the beans to be completely submerged, so add more water if it’s reducing too fast.
After 1 ½ - 2 hours, check to see if the beans are completely cooked through. They should be creamy, but not mushy. Continue to cook if they’re not quite done yet, checking for doneness every 30 minutes.
Remove from heat and discard the lemons, onion, garlic, chilis and any other veggies you added to the pot.
Divide into bowls and serve.
For what’s been giving me life recently, it really has to be how my friends and family have shown up for me this last month. Not only that, but how I’ve been able to also show up for them. I never consciously thought that losing my dad would put me in a position to provide empathy, guidance and counsel for my friends who were experiencing loss. But writing this now, I know that I can use my own experience with loss for good. To make sure that people know that their grief is normal. That it looks different for everyone. And that you’re never alone. Even when you feel really, really, really alone.
It was getting to spend two whole weeks in St. Louis, when I needed feelings of comfort and safety the most. I got to spend Halloween with Reed and Bryce. I got to eat a big bowl of pasta from Katie’s on my birthday. I got to drink brandy alexanders with my grandparents. I got to spend several hours on the couch with my mom, brother, aunt and uncle. I got to drink red wine and catch-up with my friend Katherine.
There are many, many more things that made me smile during a really challenging few weeks, but it’s too much to name. You know who you are, so thank you.
Wish I was with you,
Maddie
Hi Maddie! Great to see your newsletter is back and I'm really sorry about the challenges you've been facing. Please know Renette and I are only a call away if you ever need anything (someone to talk to, listen, text...). I'm hopeful we can all find time this winter to get together over the Holidays and enjoy some good food, wine and even better conversation. We really miss seeing your family but I'm thankful for your blog because it keeps me somewhat up to date. Best wishes to you, Angela and Max. Take care, stay safe, stay well!!!!!